Is the Modern Indian Woman Really Free?

Modernity is a dubious term in today’s India. Since the time of India’s independence, the average Indian has shamelessly imitated the West in the outer or material sphere, but claims to have retained the inner spiritual self, where his/her true ‘Indianness’ is to be found. Indian women, by default became the guardians of the inner spiritual sphere and are considered as the embodiment of pure, unpolluted, genuine ‘Indianness’.

Freedom! the natural by-product of modernirity, in the western context means indulgence, a determined will, and putting self before anything but "freedom" for the free, educated, modern Indian woman has a different meaning. Sadly, it stands for a painfully selfless submission to others’ will, unassertiveness, and a voluntary denial of opportunities, even though she is now empowered to enter the predominantly patriarchal domains of the society—and this is symbolic of her true Indian spirit (or the lack of one).
The modern Indian woman is victimized not only by the vultures of society, but her worst enemies are closest to her. At home, even in her marriage she is bound by shackles to these medieval ideas about how she should be. Really, how free is she? 50 years after independence, does she still have to answer for the choices she makes about how to lead her life? Does she hold the right to choose her own job, her own partner, or whether to have children, or about choosing her own hobby, or even where to go, whom to mix with, and what to wear?
Seema Agarwal, 26, works at a call centre and has very late working hours. Being the only child, her income supports the family. But her long-standing boyfriend isn’t suited to the idea of her late working hours, her busy schedule, and neither does he approve of her colleagues. His stand: this isn’t what a proper girl should be like. What is rattling is that, the parameters (standards) of modernity or freedom vary from one issue to another. While Seema’s ‘modern’ parents allowed her to choose her own partner, it is him, who pushes her deep into the intricate dungeons of conservatism.
On one hand, denying the husband of sex when he wants it, is considered a heinous crime, and an absolute act of defiance on the part of the wife. But to express any kind of sexual desire is also seen as unforgivable blemish on one’s character. Such is the plight of the modern Indian woman. A handful few have been able to free themselves of such victimization, but at large, the scenario is still the same. Shilpi, 27 says, “I broke up with my boyfriend because he felt it was his right to force me into having sex and never found any fault with his own attitude. I realized, though late, that there would never be a solution to this.”
Then again, there’s the very sensitive issue about having a child. What does the woman do, if she’s not yet ready to bear a child? She faces a million questions from her family, from the in-laws, friends, well-wishers and ends up completely losing the trust of her husband. “My husband thought I had deeper, intricate plans to deceive him when I refused him a child. But it’s been dealt with now, thanks to friends”—says Priti, aged 32. They’ve worked it out between themselves so that even the families on both sides do not pressurize them anymore. It’s their life, after all. But, it’s also true, agrees Priti, that one needs to have, indeed, a lot of conviction to persuade the families to accept it. Half the women end up suffering because they willingly or otherwise, succumb to the pressure they are subjected to, thanks to their very misplaced sense of the ideal ‘Indianness’ of women.
But what is surprising is the fact that while Gen Y is considered too ‘modern’ for good, their conservatism about certain things ‘Indian’, is astonishing. “My boyfriend likes staring at girls in skimpy clothes, but he doesn’t even allow me to wear sleeveless clothes to college. He’s that possessive”, smiles 19 year old Madhura. “I miss it, but I don’t mind much”, she says, not realizing that she’s slowly, but steadily allowing the chauvinism to take a grip on her.    
It is evident that more and more women today are looking to establish themselves financially, only to have a say in the major decisions of their lives, if not to support their families. Greater numbers of women are defying the pre-existing norms and customs the Indian society. But it will all be useless, if the Indian woman remains voiceless for long. A certain popular television channel broadcasts television shows for the emancipation of women and to spread awareness about the ill-doings of conservatism on the lives of women. But in their endeavour to raise TRPs, they actually eulogize the eternal submission of the helpless women to this suffering, instead of motivating them to freedom. It remains to be seen how the modern Indian woman, herself, redefines her own freedom.